I have this friend...

He has a problem. It looks as though he has to spend about the next 10 years working closely every day with someone he really doesn’t care for. This other guy’s not a real problem, he’s just boring, no fun to be around and negative in general. What would you tell my friend? Does he have any good options? Would some options be better than others? Brainstorming, we came up with:

1. Quit.
2. Act like a jerk and maybe the other guy would change or quit.
3. Try to change the other guy.
4. Ignore the other guy.
5. Try to find the positive in the other guy and build on that.

Quitting was not an option, like all of us, my friend needs his job and has invested too much of his life to leave now.

Acting like a jerk might work (or might not) but the big problem is that it’s wrong. It would make my friend a bad person and probably pretty unhappy.

He could try to change this other guy, but our life experiences, up to this point, have shown us that trying to change others is pretty hopeless. Unless the other guy wants to change, he won’t.

Ignoring the other guy for 10 years is hard to do and would make for a terrible work environment. My friend would be miserable too. It takes a lot of negative energy to ignore and not care about someone you work closely with for 10 years.

So that kind of leaves us with goody-two-shoes solution 5. That means my friend has to change, change his attitudes and change his actions. That’s tough to do. But we decided it would probably be worth the effort. Can someone decide to change their attitude and make it last? Yeah, but it’s hard. But consider the alternatives… (options 1-4)

OK, I lied…

But you suspected that all along, didn’t you?

I don’t really have a friend with this problem. But I have a lot of friends with a very similar problem. The problem is not some guy that’s boring, no fun to be around and negative in general. The problem is that the job itself is boring, no fun and negative in general. But the options remain the same, quit, be a jerk, try to change others, live with it and be unhappy or…

Decide to change our attitude. Attitude really is a decision. It can be something that happens to us if we don’t exercise our right to choose, but it is up to us. Easy? Heck no! Particularly if we have accepted a negative or neutral attitude for some time. Don’t kid yourself. In this day and age there are very few people that have a naturally positive attitude. With all the negative influences around us a positive attitude has to be chosen. Worked at. Daily.

You want to be happy here for the rest of your time here? You have to choose to be happy. You have to decide and then work at it.

A happy life cannot equal life minus time at work. If you want a happy life you have to have a happy work life also. Is that hard to do? Yes, very. Is it worth it?

Consider the alternatives… (options 1-4)